The Journey Ends

The final post... this is it... the one you have all been waiting for.

My time in Guyana has come to an unfortunate end. I had to say goodbye to all my students and friends. I am trying to mentally prepare myself to say goodbye to the person that has stood by me the last six months, and has been my best friend in Guyana. I don’t think it would take less than a year to prepare myself for that.

Although a lot of you know the reason why I am leaving Guyana, I think it is only fair that everyone knows that I am not running away, and wasn’t driven to total insanity by my eighth graders. Without a tear, and without a sigh, I can tell you that I was sexually assaulted. I put my trust in the hands of the wrong person, and I am greatly paying the price. Words can’t really describe the mental maze that my mind went through, you don’t know until you’ve lived it. Never in my life have I felt so powerless; stripped bare of my confidence, strength and self respect.  I am nothing.

My organization deemed it unsafe for me to remain in my location and advised me to return home. This was the all round best decision for my mental well being, but left me with a feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction. I’m not finished here... how can I leave right now... how did this happen... how did I let this happen? The thoughts were running through my head at a mile a minute until I stopped at the most important question of all: what can I do about this?

After a lot of zigzagging across decisions I finally chose to press charges. I remember watching TV shows and hearing stories about victims of abuse and assault that never pressed charges; I never understood why until now. I had a lot of people pressuring me to press charges and to see that justice was served. I found that people could easily tell me that I needed to see this through, and that we needed to nail this guy. Of course I agree, but when you are the one who’s being questioned but an authority that doesn’t believe you have been wronged, it makes pressing charges a little less desirable. I am hoping this makes those of you out there a little more understanding to my decisions.

I hope that women (especially in Guyana) understand that no man has the right to your body. Consent is not given through silence or lack of resistance, and can only be given by you. No one should be able to corner you into thinking that you deserve any abuse, or that you “ask for it”. No means no, end of story.

As it stands right now I am leaving Guyana for a while. I might be back in court in March 14^th, but I might not be. The thought of waiting another few months for this to finish while I prolong straightening out my life doesn’t sound like a fun time to me.

I am going to miss Guyana with all my heart. I am going to miss the warm weather, the palm trees, and the birds. I am going to miss all my family of friends, and my dog Pinky. I’m going to miss Guyana. I am going to be swept off my feet falling back into the hectic lifestyle that awaits me in the UK... that is going to take some adjusting.   

I have learnt so much from being in Guyana for the past 6 months; I have grown up and I have been given so many of life’s lessons.  However, I can’t shake off this cloudy feeling. My world has been torn apart within a couple of weeks, and it’s hard to really know how to feel. The emptiness is taking over me and I am experiencing things outside of my body. I am struggling to take control of myself, but I know I need to before I lose grip on my emotions entirely. Thing are going to be okay, but only if I make them okay. I need to start cheering for myself.

 Go Katie!!

-Peace out Guyana

Fighting an Uphill Battle...

Wow, the term has started and is in full swing. I'm trying to keep up but I have this feeling I left my mind and my heart in 2011.

Trench in Anna Regina

I'm struggling to get through to one of my classes; I feel my blood pressure rise every time I am in that classroom. Now don't get me wrong, the majority of that class are great, but there are around 5 individuals that ruin science class for everyone. An overall lack of respect force me to raise my voice and give impromptu quizzes. It sucks for the whole class, but I am hoping that the class getting mad will maybe encourage these few students to listen and finally stop talking. I have a funny feeling that it isn't going to work. I am afraid that I am going to have to resort to complete and total humiliation. It has always been against my moral code to embarrass a child, but since teaching my ethics have dramatically changed. I have tried positive reenforcement with ice cream, but again, the ones that don't care overpower the ones that do. I'm pretty sure this class is going to cause me permanent internal damage.

Queenstown Sea Wall

I spent the last week detoxing. It was Sarah's idea and I decided to join her. I started last Monday and was supposed to finish on Wednesday. Today I was starting to feel good. My skin is breaking out as that is where all the nastiness emerges but apart from that I was doing good. After a stressful day at school, ending with the class mentioned above and a frustrating phone call I was upset enough to eat a frozen cupcake, some swedish fish candies and a bottle of coke. Now I'm deeply craving some good fried chicken.

Guyana has been good for my body. I appear to have lost 2 dress sizes. It was weird seeing myself in a mirror over Christmas break as we didn't have a full mirror in our house. In fact, my fist is bigger than our bathroom mirror. Anywho, I am very satisfied with the way I look, and the continuous comments I get from my fellow teachers about my coca cola bottle shape. I look good from the back. LOL

Anna Regina path to the Sea Wall

In closing I would like to state that I am trying not to let my frustrations get to me. There are people that I don't see eye to eye with and don't always understand. I guess it is the cultural difference that is coming in. No matter what happens, I am not going to let frustrations ruin my time in Guyana, or give Guyana a bad name in my heart.

Goodnight and peace out.

2012 could have started much better...

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year.

My Christmas was spent in the Sunshine State... but first we had our World Teach mid-service conference. Sarah and I arrived after a very bumpy speed boat ride from Supenaam. I think we were both thankful we didn't have more to drink at the teacher's Christmas party. Essequibo must have been sad to see us go as the rain came down and down. Anyways, we reached Georgetown and I was greeted by a very happy Fiza. It was great to catch up and hear about her adventures in Paramakatoi. I was envious of her mountainous views and hikes. I was also extremely jealous that she has been playing with a baby jaguar for the last 3 months (it is going to be released). I can't recall the name of the jaguar but I was of a cutesy nature. JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS.
Our mid-service conference was a time for us to reflect on our first term in Guyana. Everyone's experiences were different, and some were better than others. I loved hearing all the stories from the interior, especially the Aishalton boys.

I left Georgetown at 2am to catch my plane to Miami (detouring through Trinidad). A celebration of our last night in Guyana left me a little intoxicated. Well, a lot more than a little. Let's just say that I have never felt so rough flying a plane. I looked like I was ready to hit the town, but I felt like I was ready to hit the pavement. Know what? A three hour flight with a stinging hangover would have been completely doable if it wasn't for the motor mouth sat next to me. Obviously the fact that I was silent and wearing sunglasses was not enough for him to stop talking to me, but a simple explanation of my physical state (you would think) would end his gabbering... no. No it didn't.
I spent my week in Florida mainly relaxing with my parents. I was disappointed at the comercialisation of the Florida Keys and the destruction of our oceans through the removal of coral reefs to sell. However, the time I got to spend with my parents was really great... I just wish my sister could have been there too.

Sarah and I arrived back in Georgetown on the 27th Dec. We stayed the night at a hotel and headed back to Essequibo. I mentioned before the bumpy speed boat ride to Georgetown... well this ride was the Nemesis Inferno of the Essequibo River. THANK GOD I hadn't eaten... =S
We relaxed for the past few days with the occasional visit from Nigel. We made awesome pina coladas and nachoes... something I had been craving for the past 4 months.

Nachos!!!

As far as New Year goes, all I can say is that I wish this year does not reflect the start I have had. New Year's Eve was a fun time and was not short of funny interludes. I found I was constantly harassed by drunk men. I don't mind dancing next to a guy, but constantly being pulled like a trophy object is not something I enjoy.

New Year's fun with my Roomie!

New Years day wasn't too great. I walked into wall through the hallway of the school at night to avoid a dead weasel on the floor. You may laugh, I find it funny now... however, I got home to find blood running from my nose. I also gained a headache that I, still now, have not been able to shift. I hope this pounding doesn't last through tomorrow.

I have so much to gain this year. I also have so much to lose. I feel that everything right now is a delicate balance. One thing can push the scale towards the good or the bad. I am pushing everything I have towards the good. I just hope it is enough to make this a good year. 2011 was such an eventful year, not to mention all the wonderful people I have met. 2012 has the potential to be my best year. For better or worse it is going to change my life.

-Peace out world.

Last Post of the Year!!

I CAN SEE THE END, AND IT LOOKS SO SWEET!!
I am going to be happy to see the back of this Christmas term. It has been 15 long weeks of drama, academic dishonesty, bad grades, late assignments, psychotic chaos, and romance.
Quick breakdown of the term:
- nothing gets done at this school no matter how much you ask
- students cheat, cheat, and cheat some more. There is no moral code with some of these students
- students also fail to do assignments you set. Half my eighth graders failed science because they did not do the work. Although these grades can look bad on my part, I would be more than happy to show you my grade book... it has more holes than a sieve.
- if students do decide to do their homework, the majority turn it in after it's due. The number one excuse being: but Miss, I didn't understand. Well, you had a week to do this assignment so telling me now that you don't understand means you looked at it this morning and released you didn't have enough time to finish. Sorry, I don't accept comprehension excuses.
- I have a psychotic head of department... nuff said.
This rollercoaster of a term can only mean a better second term... fingers crossed.

My paper chain decorations!!

I wrote this post while in a classroom with around twenty 15 year olds... not the most exciting place I have been. The flipping through pages and last minute cramming makes me appreciate proctoring the exams rather than taking them myself. However, I am extremely envious that these students can forget all about these subjects once the bell rings... that's where our fun starts. Grading grading grading... should I say it again? GRADING! All those exams need to be marked; fortunately we have next week in finish all paperwork. I believe that the person that created the exam schedule is not a friend of mine. Instead of spreading science out over the week, it is bundled between Thursday, Friday and the following Monday. This means nothing to do tonight and tomorrow night, but an overload of work come Thursday. Don't expect to hear from me until after Christmas...

Our awesome Christmas Tree with Sir Isaac Newton at the top!

Speaking of Christmas, I am so excited that it is the holiday season, even though it feels like July still. I am reading all these statuses about the snow and the cold, and although this does make me miss Purdue, I am totally pucker with not being cold this Christmas.

My next post will be in the new year so I am going to give you Katie's Top 10 Guyana Experiences from 2011.
10. Sleeping in a net every single night
9. Eating from a lily pad
8. Being stared at by everyone (there must be something different about me)
7. Purposefully arriving to an event late and feeling on time
6. Being continually asked if I am married
5. Having the most freckles I have ever had
4. Cribbage nights
3. "just now"
2. Sarah Stevens
1. Knowing that I am a part of something a lot bigger than myself

-Peace out 2011

The World Keeps Turning

Wednesday night already, boy this week is going by fast. Monday was Ede (Islamic holiday) so there was no school, and yesterday was a half day. Today has been the only full day I have taught lessons and I only have lessons scheduled for the morning... I haven't taught a single afternoon this week =S.

Sarah and I threw a kickass Halloween party this weekend and we were not disappointed by the turnout. Not only did a lot of our Guyanese friends come but we had two very special visitors. Sir Jose came from New Amsterdam to see us, and Miss Rosie came from Port Kaituma. We loved that they were able to come and see where we live. Rosie didn't have a costume prepared so we decided she should be a psychedelic hippie, we found some brightly coloured clothes for her to wear, and a bandanna. I don't think she was too impressed looking like a rainbow has just been thrown into a blender... does this mean I should rethink my style? After all, everything that Rosie wore that night belonged to me and are things I would wear without even thinking I looked funky. Eh, I'm gunna carry on.

Rosie, me, Jose and Sarah

Our halloween house looked A-MA-ZING... Sarah and Jose hung these awesome, but expensive (ask Sarah) cobwebs. The looked really cool but my lion ears kept getting caught in them, another teacher also got into a bit of a tangle hehehe. We also had frankencups, and beakers filled with candy. It was a pretty epic halloween party.

I was dressed as a lion. We teased my hair to make a mane, but sadly I had no hair spray so my hair lost its volume throughout the night. My favourite part of my costume was definitely my tail.
The party went on until around midnight, and after being in the sun all day, cleaning and decorating the house, and then dancing the night away I was definitely out when my head touched that pillow.

Time for me to leave you for now.

-peace out.

Graduation

So last weekend was ARMs graduation; so that meant all the teachers had to dress like movie stars for this red carpet event. I was lucky enough to be lent a sexy red dress and some black accessories. Both Sarah and I looked pretty awesome. Graduation, however, wasn't as exciting as the getting ready part. It took about 4 hours to give out all diplomas and prizes... my butt was dead afterwards. We then went into the cafeteria for dinner and then we had a fun evening playing games and going to the sea wall. 

There aren't many pictures of me from graduation but these are my favourites: 

Sarah creepin on us

All glammed up!

I'm a great big slacker...

Alligator found outside the school compound

 I keep meaning to update this blog, but every time I remember something comes up or I am laid in bed with no internet access. I have a lot to talk about so let's get cracking... The first week was very chaotic, the timetable is basically this giant blackboard in the staff room, and if there are any clashes then the deputy head has to rework everything by hand.
When we got here, Sarah was told that she would be teaching science even though she majored in math and has not taken a science class since high school. She had to teach year 10 and 11 physics but one of the regional educators heard about the situation and decided it would be best if I taught the 11th grade physics as her daughter is in that class.hmmm

The next week flew by, which is funny because the previous week dragged so much. I had some good classes and some not so good classes. I have a few students in my base class that are now obsessed with me. Every time they see me in the hallway they yell my name and ask me a whole bunch of personal questions. One girl keeps bringing me mangos from her mango tree... I do not complain as they are delicious. I have had a lot of students ask me age, they are shocked when I say 22 because most think I'm around 30. LOL.

Sarah and I found a 2 week old kitten in the staff room this week. We have been feeding him with an eye dropper and keeping him in a box in our kitchen. His name is Basil and he is so cute! He is getting bigger, along with his mewing lol.

Sports a couple weeks ago, and all the teachers and students had been placed into houses, I was blue, which is cool as I was blue at John Mason (my UK school). Unfortunately there are teachers races, and all the teachers in my house seem to think I'm a good runner. I requested that I run a longer distance than a sprint, I have never been a good sprinter. We had field events on Thursday and we were supposed to have track events on Friday, but seeing as it down poured on Thursday night the field flooded. Instead we had a fun morning of playing heads up seven up with my base class. We went outside in the afternoon for some of the novelty events such as the three legged race, the balloon toss, and the lime and spoon race. All these events were for students and teachers. Sarah and I came joint last on the lime and spoon race, and then Nigel and I came second to last on the balloon toss. Nigel threw the balloon too hard and it burst right into my crotch lol. It was a shock but it felt good as it was so hot... also the students loved that I got completely soaked.

It was Essequibo night a couple of weekends ago. They basically have a big party with lots of music and dancing. We were going to go Friday night but the ground was still a little flooded so we stayed at home and watched movies.We went on Saturday night and drank a lot of beer and had a good time with a couple of the peace corps volunteers.

I will write more soon, but I gots some lessons to plan. Enjoy the pictures (stolen from Nigel)

Covered area of the school during an assembly

Anna Regina Multilateral School

-peace out